PART II: I Want My Two Dollars!!!!!

It think it’s time for a brief anecdote on this fine Tuesday afternoon, don’t you?

What does Nordic skiing have to do with project1979?

Most of you who are familiar with cross country skiing know that it is not too difficult.  Just click in, glide and work up a calorie-burning winter sweat.  And, for those of you who know me personally you can attest that I’m not too bad of a dancer, a fact that should facilitate ease with the stride required for beautiful skiing.  I am the exception to the rule.  I wobble.  I sometimes use the poles as crutch-like instruments.  Sometimes I fall.  Today I will highlight falling as it does, in fact, pertain to the work I am doing right now, as well as helping me to get over myself and speak to director-man.

 

After only slightly sneaking out of my windowless day job on my lunch break, I clicked into my skis and proceeded to go for a brisk ski in the bright sunshine.  Today I chose to go down a path in the woods which was new for me.  Shortly after making the turn I gulped to find myself faced with a big downward slope (big to me, small to most other people including little children).  I gulped again, made my best pizza (something only reserved for downhill beginner skiers and people avoiding little hills while cross country skiing) and stepped out of the tracks.  While doing so in my shakily endearing way, a man forty years my senior whizzed past me saying the following words of wisdom:

The best thing to do is just point your skis in the right direction and just go.

To which I replied:

But I’m scared!

And, as magical cross country skiing god-man disappeared into the trees, he said:

I know, it’s scary at first but you just have to do it!

That’s right, magical cross country skiing god-man!  I stepped back into the tracks, pointed my skis down the hill and was soon speeding between the trees.

I fell.

It didn’t hurt too badly.  I got up and kept on going!  Yes for challenges!  Yes for magical cross country skiing god-man for giving me this kernel of advice.  My mind reveled in how to apply such sage wisdom to my upcoming endeavors:  putting on a show in six weeks, meeting said director. being a good person.

While coming up the mountain I chose to duck-foot it because I just didn’t have the agility to keep from falling down each time I advanced upward.  Smiling, I found a rhythm, even in the awkwardness.

I fell again.

This time it hurt a bit more.  I got up and kept on going!  Yes for big-girl pants!  Yes for no one being around to see me spread-eagle against the slope of the tiniest mini-hill.

At the end of the ski I had really found a nice pace and was proud of myself for not being too affected by my clumsiness.  On the last hill, I beautifully aimed my skis in the right direction, crouched in my best skier’s squat and happily made my way to the end of the trail.

I fell once more.

It did not hurt.  I got up and kept on going!  Yes for laughing at oneself as the sun sets behind the mountain and little children pass you on their sleds!

This whole process might not be graceful but the point is I’m getting out there, stealing time to face fears that might be imperceptible to others but huge hurdles for me.  So tonight, hopefully, I will keep that wisdom gained from falling three times in thirty minutes close to my heart as I proceed along the path of being less of a wimp.  The insight of magical cross country skiing god-man and a real opportunity for growth is something I’m taking with me for the next few days before Mr. Director-man ships out.

I really want my two dollars on this one.

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